August, and Everything After
by Siansie
Summary: This story starts as Emily is reflecting on her life as she drives to Texas to live with her parents after graduating from university. Eventually this will be a Paige/Emily story, but it will be a slow build.
1. Chapter 1

Emily couldn't believe that she was driving her Toyota, packed to the brim with all her worldly possessions, through the Arizona desert in August. When she graduated from UC Berkeley in May her parents had begrudgingly agreed to support her decision to remain in California. They agreed to help her financially for three months; however, if after three months she were unable to be self-sufficient she would return to their home in the Dallas suburbs.

So there she was—driving through the desert in her old Toyota in order to move to a place that had never been her home. The August after Emily graduated from Rosewood High she moved to California and never looked back. That September her parents sold her childhood home in Pennsylvania and moved to Texas. After high school Emily's friends had also left Rosewood—Spencer was accepted at Oxford and had been in the UK ever since; Aria followed Ezra to a small liberal arts college in Iowa; and Hanna spent two semesters at Penn State. After spending two semesters studying business, Hanna made the decision to move to New York City in order pursue her passion for fashion. Amazingly she was able to convince some famous designer to give her an internship that actually turned into a permanent paid position.

Paige had been Emily's only other tie to Rosewood. Paige had been recruited to swim for the University of Michigan. They had tried to make the long distance relationship work, but after one semester it became abundantly clear that the physical distance was too difficult to manage. For the first month or so, Emily and Paige would spend several hours each day either on the phone, or chatting on Facetime. Paige even flew out to Berkeley over the fall break. The visit had been amazing—they spent most of their time together holed up in Emily's dorm room reconnecting physically. Once Paige left, Emily felt incredibly alone. She had made plenty of friends on campus and in town, but she missed the intimacy she had with Paige.

After fall break Emily and Paige tried to make the distance work, but as time wore on the separation became untenable for both of them. As Emily began to grow closer with some of the girls in her dorm and on the swim team, the amount of time spent talking to Paige began to decrease.

The summer before they left for university they had made plans to spend winter break together. Emily had let her parents know that she would be with them in Texas for Christmas, but she had planned on spending the rest of her break in Rosewood with Paige and the other girls. Those plans fell through after Thanksgiving once Paige's father informed her that the whole family would be spending Christmas break with their extended family in Colorado. She tried to talk her way out of it by saying she already had plans, but Mr. McCullers would not budge.

The reality of not being able to see one another until spring break in late-March was too much for Emily to handle. She ended up spending that winter break with her parents in Texas. Being with her family had been nice, but because she had no friends in Texas, Emily had too much time to think. The result of all this thinking was the decision to end things with Paige. She knew that she loved Paige, but she could no longer deal with the distance.

Emily got back to Berkeley the Friday before her spring classes were scheduled to start; her roommate was not due back until Sunday, so Emily decided to have the talk with Paige that Saturday afternoon. In some ways their conversation was easier than Emily had imagined. In her head, she had thought Paige would freak out and insist that they try to make their relationship work. In reality there were a lot of tears, but Paige ultimately agreed that being apart was not working for her either. They agreed to remain friends and keep in touch with one another.

The next few months were difficult for Emily. Intellectually she knew they had made the right decision, but she felt emotionally devastated. Emily's new friends tried their best to distract her and get her to meet new girls, but she wasn't ready. For the first two months after the breakup, Paige and Emily continued to call one another weekly. Hearing Paige's voice always comforted Emily, but after the call ended she would feel empty once again.

Hanna was incredible after the breakup. She would call or Skype Emily nearly every day to check in on her. She could see that Emily was not getting over Paige and suspected that it was due to their decision to remain "friends". Hanna was constantly telling Emily that she needed to let some time pass before they work on becoming friends. Hanna would repeatedly tell Emily that she should impose a two to three month period of no contact in order to heal. When Hanna would mention the no contact period Emily would close off and say that was the exact opposite of what needed to occur.

Everything changed at the beginning of March. Emily was having a particularly bad day—she had bombed her Calculus II midterm and the swim coach had called her into her office because her swim times had been on the decline. Early into the breakup Paige and Emily had decided to try to Skype every Sunday evening at six; sometimes they would have to reschedule due to school commitments, but they had never missed a week. Without thinking, Emily called Paige in tears after leaving the coach's office.

After a couple of rings, Emily heard an unfamiliar female voice answer Paige's phone. Emily stammered, "Umm, hi. I'm trying to reach Paige." The girl responded, "Just a sec, let me see if she's out of the shower." Emily heard the girl say, "Hon, are you out of the shower? You have a call." She then heard a muffled Paige say, "Not yet. Tell them I'll call them back later." Before the girl could get back to her, Emily hung up.

Emily dropped her phone on the ground and stood in front of her dorm sobbing. Paige was clearly seeing someone new and hadn't told her. Emily's mind was going a mile a minute; Paige had clearly been seeing this girl for a while because she called Paige "hon". Had she started seeing her while they were still together? Was she in love with her?

Before her mind could go any farther, Emily noticed her phone ringing on the ground. She froze when she saw Paige's picture on the screen. She stared at the phone and let the call go to voicemail. After the phone stopped ringing she picked it up and threw it in her bag. Emily wiped the tears from her face and made her way into her dorm. She was relieved to find that her roommate was not there. She kicked her shoes off and threw herself on her bed. She buried her head under her pillow and started to sob once again. Eventually Emily fell asleep; by the time she woke up, it was completely dark outside. She looked at her roommate's alarm clock and saw that it was after nine—she had slept for more than three hours. She noticed her roommate was still absent, so she got up and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her face was blotchy and covered with dried snot and tears.

She grabbed some reasonably clean sweats, a t-shirt, and her shower kit and made her way down the hall to the communal showers. Thankfully the showers were empty, so she made her way to the one she knew had the best water pressure. She closed and locked the stall door in the small changing area outside of the good shower and slowly got undressed. Instead of folding and stacking her dirty clothes into a neat pile, she just left them where they fell.

Emily turned on the water and gave it time to heat up. Once it was warm enough she stepped in and let the water flow over her body. She stood there without moving for quite some time. She was jarred out of her trancelike state when she heard another girl enter one of the other stalls. Emily got out her shampoo and began washing her hair. She quickly finished showering and stepped back into the changing area. She dried off and hurriedly put her sweats and t-shirt on, grabbed her shower kit, and darted back to her dorm.

When she got back she found that her roommate had been there and had left a message for her on the dry erase board saying that she would be spending the night in her boyfriend's room. Although she liked her roommate, Emily was relieved to have the room to herself. Emily threw her dirty clothes in the hamper and tossed her shower kit back in the closet; she pulled a brush through her hair and pulled it back into a ponytail.

Emily took a deep breath and decided to check her phone. She pulled it out of her bag and saw that she had several missed calls, texts, and voice mails. Most of the calls had been from Paige, but there were also a few from Hanna. Emily summoned all of her courage and began to check her voice mail. The first message was from Paige—she wanted Emily to call her back. The next message came about ten minutes later—Paige sounded more frantic and was begging Emily to call her back so she could explain. There were five more voice messages from Paige—each growing more frantic.

The final message was the longest. In it Paige said that she had started seeing Marni—the girl who answered the phone—about a month ago. She said that she wanted to tell Emily, but didn't know how. She said that she had met Marni the first week of school and they became quick friends. Paige kept saying that she wanted Emily to know that nothing had happened with Marni until after they broke up. Paige kept saying that she never meant to hurt Emily and that she would always love her. The last thing she said was that she wanted Emily to call her when she was ready to talk.

The next several messages were from Hanna. Apparently Paige became worried when Emily wouldn't respond to her calls or texts, so she called Hanna to let her know what was going on. Hanna said that when Paige told her what happened; she laid into her and told her in no uncertain terms to leave Emily alone. Hanna sounded much more concerned in her second message—she said she was worried about Emily and wanted her to call or text ASAP just to let her know that she was okay. Emily was overwhelmed by all of the information she just received. She just wanted to wallow in her solitude, but knew that if she didn't call Hanna, she would freak out and call Emily's mom.

Emily took a deep breath and called Hanna. Hanna picked up on the first ring and berated Emily for not calling sooner. Emily was right; Hanna had been about five minutes from calling Emily's mom. Once Hanna calmed down, she started asking how Emily was doing. Emily said she really didn't know—it was a lot to process all at once. Before Emily could say anything else, Hanna informed her that she would spending her spring break in Berkeley with her. She said that she was going to force Emily to get out and have fun. Hanna also mentioned being excited about going to the beach to soak up some of that California sun; Emily didn't have the heart to tell Hanna that the beaches in northern California were not really sunny this time of year—in fact, she would probably be more comfortable in a wool sweater and boots than in shorts and a tank top.

By the time she got off the phone with Hanna she was feeling a little better. She had convinced Emily that she needed to give it some time before she talked with Paige. As hard as it seemed, Hanna was probably right—she needed to get herself together before she could deal with Paige.


	2. Chapter 2

Hanna kept her word and actually came to Berkeley for spring break. It was great to see her old friend—she hadn't realized how much she missed seeing her oldest friend until she was actually there. Predictably, Hanna complained about the weather the whole time, but that didn't stop them from having fun. Emily's roommate had decided to go to San Diego with her boyfriend over the break, so they had the whole room to themselves. Hanna's incessant chatter was a welcome distraction from Emily's self-imposed solitude. Hanna told her how much she hated college and was looking into finding a fashion internship so she wouldn't have to go back after the spring semester ended. She also updated Emily on all of the gossip from Rosewood.

Although Emily had been in Berkeley for more than six months, she had spent very little time across the Bay in San Francisco. Hanna remedied this by dragging Emily all over the city. Apparently Hanna had done some research and was hell bent on showing Emily that there was a whole world of hot lesbians a short ride away. They walked up and down the Castro with Hanna making a special point of pointing out any time a vaguely attractive woman walked by.

Hanna then insisted they walk to the Mission because that's where she heard there were tons of lady-loving ladies. Emily was amused that Hanna had done so much research for her benefit. It was somewhat sunny out, so they decided to pick up some snacks from a bodega along the way and have a picnic in Dolores Park. After they ate, Emily and Hanna stretched out in the grass. They lay there silently for a few minutes; it was nice being there with an old friend. "Thanks for doing this for me Hanna. You're being here means a lot to me." Hanna rolled over and looked at her, "It's what friends do."

That night when they returned to the dorm, Emily and Hanna ran into, Radha, a girl who lived across the hall. She seemed surprised to see them. She stammered, "Hey, I didn't actually think anyone else stayed here over spring beak." Emily introduced Hanna to Radha and explained that she decided to stick around over the break because she hadn't really explored much of the area, aside from the campus. Out of nowhere, Hanna asked Radha if she had any plans for the evening. Radha said that she didn't. Hanna then asked her over to Emily's room later that night for pizza and crappy 80s movies. Strangely, Radha agreed.

Emily and Hanna went into Emily's room. "Hey Hanna, since when were we watching movies and having pizza?" Hanna smirked, "Since I caught her checking you out." Emily felt herself go red, "Hanna! She's not even gay." "Well, then there's no harm, no foul. You could stand to make more friends around here."

Hanna being ever the extrovert appointed herself to go out and get the pizza while Emily took a shower and tidied up her room. About an hour later Hanna reappeared with two large pizzas, various sweets, some juice, and a huge bottle of vodka. Apparently Hanna had flirted with some guy and convinced him to buy the vodka for her.

Around eight, there was a knock on the door. Hanna yelled, "Come on in. It's unlocked." The door opened and Radha came in carrying a big shopping bag. "Hey guys. I hope you don't mind, but I brought some beer left over from my roommates birthday party last month." Hanna's eyes lit up, "Of course not! I got us some pizzas and vodka." Emily paced around nervously, "I was thinking we could watch 'Say Anything' or 'Mystic Pizza'." Radha lit up, "I love both of those movies!"

The girls dug into the pizza and grabbed some beers. They sat in the floor and Hanna began asking Radha about her life. Radha was born in the Toronto suburbs; her father was Irish and her mother was Indian. Her family had visited San Francisco when she was a teenager; which is when she fell in love with Berkeley. She was majoring in French and comparative literature. The conversation wasn't one-sided. Radha asked Emily and Hanna questions about their lives and how they became friends.

Hanna proposed they do some shots. She poured some vodka into some plastic cups and handed them to Emily and Radha. They raised their cups and Hanna said, "To friends—old and new." The brought their cups together and said cheers. Emily slung her cup back and attempted to drink the "shot" Hanna had poured. The vodka burned her throat and Emily began coughing. Radha jumped up and grabbed a bottle of water from Emily's desk. She handed it to Emily and began rubbing her back. Once Emily stopped coughing she noticed Hanna smirking at her.

Radha got up and excused herself to the restroom. While she was out of the room, Hanna started laughing and said, "She's totally into you. Did you see how quick she was to get you a drink and rub your back?" Emily rolled her eyes, "Whatever Hanna—she was doing what a normal person would do." "I don't know Emily, I've seen her looking at you a lot tonight." Before Emily could come back with a retort, Radha came back in the room.

Hanna grabbed another beer and flopped down on Emily's roommate's bed. Emily picked up another beer and sat on the floor in front of her bed. Radha looked around and sat down next to Emily. Out of nowhere, Hanna blurts out, "So Radha, do you have a boyfriend?" Radha laughed out loud said, "not since grade nine." "So you're saying you've been single for four years?" Radha smirked, "No, I'm just saying I haven't had a boyfriend in four years." Hanna sat up and looked at Emily. "So do you have a girlfriend?" Radha smiled at Hanna, "Not currently." Hanna grinned, "So you are a lesbian!" "Yeah, I am."


	3. Chapter 3

Emily didn't always appreciate Hanna's lack of subtlety, but in this instance her lack of subtlety helped to open the next chapter of Emily's life. Nothing happened with Radha that night, but the seed was planted. Hanna made a point of including Radha in the rest of their plans that week. They went to the Golden Gate Bridge one afternoon and the next day Radha drove them to her aunt's vacation home in Monterey County. They spent two nights there—the first day they walked around Cannery Row and Monterey. That evening they had a small bonfire on the beach in Carmel. The next day they biked the 17 Mile Drive—the views were breathtaking. That night they stayed in and Radha made an amazing curry while Emily and Hanna watched Buffy.

Hanna flew back to Pennsylvania at the end of spring break. Emily let Hanna know that she was eternally grateful for her visit—her being there really helped. As they were hugging goodbye, Hanna told Emily that she had it on good authority that Radha liked her. Emily rolled her eyes at Hanna, but as she hugged her back, she secretly smiled.

The more time Emily spent with Radha, the more she wanted to know. She wasn't like any of the girls that typically caught Emily's attention—she wasn't an athlete like Paige or as charismatic and mysterious as Maya. Radha was small—in fact she was about five inches shorter than Emily; she had dark curly hair that was long in the front and short in the back; and she wore black clunky glasses that slightly obscured her penetrating blue eyes.

After Hanna left, Emily and Radha continued to spend a lot of time together—they were inseparable after about two weeks. In spite their clear chemistry, nothing romantic happened between them until the weekend before finals. They had made plans with Radha's friends to go to a few end of semester parties. Emily had made a point to get dressed up for the evening—her first year of college had been rough, so she wanted to look nice to celebrate its end. Instead of pulling her hair back in her ubiquitous ponytail, Emily spent time curling her hair so it fell in large curls over her shoulders. She also wore a well-fitting dress that had been in the back of her closet since she moved to California. Emily took time to look at herself in the mostly ignored full-length mirror on the back of her closet door—she had to admit that she looked pretty damn good.

Emily walked to Radha's room and knocked on the door. When Radha opened the door, Emily gasped, "You look beautiful", and then realizing when she said she stammered, "I mean, you look nice." Radha smiled and said, "You're not looking too bad yourself." Radha opened the door wider and said, "Do you want to come in? I was thinking we could have a few drinks before we meet up with everybody else."

Emily walked in the room and asked, "Where's your roommate?" Radha smirked, "Oh, she's at the library. The girl's never heard of taking a break. I expect to see her approximately this time next week." Emily watched Radha as she went to her computer and turned on some music.

Emily walked over the small dorm refrigerator and pulled out the huge bottle of vodka Hanna had procured over spring break. "I think we should do some shots." Radha grinned, "I think you're right." Emily poured two shots and handed one to Radha. "What should we drink to?" Radha held up her shot and said, "To good friends", she paused for a second and then said, "and to hot dresses." Emily blushed and said, "Cheers." Emily collected the cups and proceeded to pour them vodka with cranberry juice. Emily took a drink and cringed, "It's a bit strong—I hope that's okay." Radha took the cup and said, "I'm sure it's fine." She took a sip and stifled a face. "Yeah, it's a bit strong. No worries though, we'll just add a little more cranberry and it'll be fine."

Two drink later, the girls were feeling looser. Emily looked at the clock and realized more than an hour had passed. "Hey, weren't we supposed to meet your friends about thirty minutes ago." Radha didn't seem fussed, "Yeah, we're a little late. It's not a problem, I'll just text them to see where they are. If I know them, they're probably running late too." Radha called her friend, Brent, who said they had just made it to the first party. "Brent said they just made it to the first party. I knew they would be running late." Emily got up and was noticeably a little tipsy. She declared, "We should do one more shot before we go." Radha quickly stood up, "I agree". She poured two big shots of vodka into their cups and said, "What are we drinking to this time." Emily thought for a second and said, "To the future! And to a night full of possibilities!" Radha raised her cup and said, "To a future of possibilities."

The girls gathered a bag and made their way to the first party. Radha's friends were all standing on the porch drinking beer from red cups. Apparently the party was being hosted by one of Brent's friends and his housemates. The girls walked inside and paid some guy for two plastic cups. Emily noticed that the guy was trying to flirt with Radha by making some joke about not losing her cup. Emily rolled her eyes and dragged Radha off to the keg. They got in line to wait for the cheap beer. Emily looked at Radha, "You know that guy was flirting with you, right?" Radha laughed, "Yeah, I know. He lives here and tries to get somewhere with me each time I'm here with Brent." They made more small talk as they waited in line for the beer.

Once they made it through the line they headed back to the porch. As soon as they got to the porch, Radha went up to Brent and laughed, "I thought you had told Sergei to stop with the flirting. Didn't you tell him he's barking up the wrong tree?" Brent drunkenly put his arm around Radha and said, "I've told him. He just thinks you're a challenge." Radha rolled her eyes, "It's getting pretty old." Emily smiled to herself.

Emily made a couple of more trips to the keg before they decided to move to the next party. Brent assured them that the next party would be more "chill" and less full of unwelcome straight guy flirting. Apparently the next party was at someone named Naomi's house. Brent was involved with a ton of student organizations and seemed to know nearly everyone on campus.

By the time they made it to Naomi's house, they were all talking loudly and joking around with one another. Emily was back talking with Ryan when she noticed Brent go up and put his arm around Radha neck. "So I think your girl you hooked up with last semester is gonna be here. What was her name again?" Radha shushed Brent and looked back over her shoulder at Emily. Brent seemed confused and said, "What, I thought you kinda liked her." Emily heard Radha mumble, "Just drop it Brent."

Radha and Brent seemed to know everyone at this party. Emily was introduced to probably twenty people before they made it to the room with the drinks. Radha poured Emily and herself vodkas with orange juice. Emily sipped her drink silently as she looked around the house for signs of the bathroom. She wandered into a hallway and saw people lined up outside a door. She asked the girl at the end of the line if this was the line for the toilet and the girl nodded and said, "yeah".

When Emily finally made her way through the line she had finished more than half of her drink. She wandered back through the house trying to find someone she knew. As she entered the living room she saw Radha chatting rather cozily with some girl. Emily watched the girl familiarly touch Radha as they talked. She stood there for a moment before Emily felt Brent grab her and drag her to the back yard. Brent was yammering on about how Radha had hooked up with that girl she was talking to last semester. Apparently the girl was named Rachel and she had been in Costa Rica for a study abroad program this semester. Brent said that Radha had really been interested in Rachel, but Rachel didn't want to start something just as she was leaving the country.

Emily got an uneasy feeling in her stomach and excused herself from Brent by saying that she needed to refill her drink. She made her way back through the party and headed to the drink table. The vodka was empty, so she poured herself a whiskey and Coke. The drink was more whiskey than Coke, so she drank it quickly. Emily wasn't feeling well, so she decided to walk back to her dorm. As she was leaving she ran into Brent who was making out with some guy. She mumbled something about how she wasn't feeling well and needed to go back to the dorm. She headed outside and looked around. She wasn't exactly sure where she was, but she could see part of the campus and headed off in that direction.

She walked for what seemed like an eternity before she saw something that looked vaguely familiar. As she walked, she started to cry and get angry. Why did she let herself develop feelings for someone who was clearly interested in someone else? Emily felt stupid for thinking there could ever be something between her and Radha. As she got closer to her dorm, she could tell she was going to throw up. She tried to walk quicker, but it didn't help—Emily stopped by a tree and threw up.


	4. Chapter 4

**My apologies for such a short story, but I wanted to get something up. The next update will not take so long.**

**-S**

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Emily stood by the tree and tried to regain her composure; she held on to the tree in an attempt to make her world stop spinning. She stood there a few more minutes, making sure she could actually make it the short distance to her dorm.

As she started to walk, she heard someone call her name. She turned around and saw Radha running up to her. Emily started to walk more quickly. Radha ran up to her and grabbed her arm. "Emily", she panted out of breath. "I got worried when I couldn't find you at the party." Emily turned around with tears in her eyes, "I didn't want to bother you. You seemed rather occupied with Rachel." Radha seemed exasperated, "I'm gonna murder Brent. He told you how I hooked up with her last semester, right?" Emily nodded her head. Radha continued, "Let me guess. He also told you how I wanted something more with her, but it didn't work out because she was out of the country?" Emily nodded again.

Radha put her hand on the small of Emily's back. "Let's get back to the dorm—I'm a little cold." Radha kept talking as they walked together. "I'm not gonna lie. When Rachel saw me tonight she said wanted to rekindle what we started last semester." Emily nodded. "She's cute. I can understand why you'd want to be with her." Radha stopped. "I did have a huge thing for her last semester—but something changed. I told her that." Emily looked at Radha, "What changed?"

Radha was quiet for a moment as they walked into the dorm. Blushing, Radha said, "I met someone far more interesting." As the girls walked toward their rooms, Radha reached over and took Emily's hand.

They arrived at Emily's room. "So I guess this is where we say goodbye." Emily blushed, "It doesn't have to be." Radha looked at Emily, "Are you sure?" Emily opened her door, "I'm very sure."


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for sticking with the story. Eventually Paige will show back up, but I'm trying to get a decent back story set up so Emily can move forward. Thanks for the follows and the comments. They really with the motivation.**

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Radha and Emily were inseparable after that night. They roomed together the next year in the dorms. The following year they moved off campus and shared a small studio in town. Living off-campus with a girlfriend was a new experience for Emily. In the dorms they didn't have to worry about things like who was supposed to pick up milk and bread, or whose turn it was to clean the toilet. In spite of having to figure out how to manage these day-to-day tasks, they got along well. They bickered occasionally, but didn't have huge fights.

In spite of the small space, they decided to stay in the studio for their senior year—it was a lot easier than having to look for a new place. At least with this apartment they knew what to do when the toilet wouldn't stop running, and just how many things could be plugged into the outlet in the bathroom before the circuit would blow. It wasn't perfect, but it was familiar.

Everything began to change toward the end of the first semester of their senior year—they didn't fight, but there was a lot left unspoken. Emily knew that Radha had started to apply to grad schools, but they never talked about what their relationship would look like after graduation. Emily had done well in school, but she didn't want to go directly to grad school. She had spent seventeen years in school and needed a break.

Emily spent that winter break with her parents in Texas. It was nice seeing her parents, but she spent the entire time dodging her mother's questions about the future. She honestly had no idea what to tell her mom because she was unsure herself.

At the beginning of March, Emily finally summoned the courage to address the issue of their future. It was a tough conversation, but Emily needed to know. So one evening after a few glasses of wine Emily approached Radha and asked her where she saw herself in a year. Radha predictably said that she saw herself finishing up her first year of grad school. What Emily didn't expect is that Radha said that she had been accepted into the graduate writing program at the University of Iowa. Emily's jaw hit the floor. She asked Radha how long she had known; Radha said that she found out at the beginning of February.

Emily stared at Radha. She asked Radha when she planned on telling her. Radha said that she had been waiting for the right time. Emily was irate, so she let loose on Radha; every emotion that had built up since the beginning of the new term came flying out of Emily. She was pissed that Radha had kept such an important thing from her for more than a month. She then proceeded to ask Radha if she saw them together this time next year. Radha put her head down and admitted that the answer was no. She said that she loved Emily, but she didn't see Emily with her in Iowa. She also said that graduate school would be a whole new chapter in her life and that she wanted to start there with a clean slate.

The next ten weeks of the semester were very difficult for Emily. At first Emily tried to avoid Radha as much as possible by staying on her friend Mary's couch. Mary said she could stay there as long as she needed, but Emily could tell that Mary's housemates were less keen on her staying.

They had previously planned on spending their final undergraduate spring break together in Monterey, but Emily decided that she would rather spend her time off with Hanna in New York. Spending time with Hanna was just what Emily had needed. By this time Hanna was working as the assistant for a small fashion designer. Hanna jokingly referred to herself as the designer's "bitch". In spite of her joking, it was evident to Emily that Hanna loved her job.

Hanna worked during the day, so that gave Emily plenty of time to wander around the city and visit the sites that Hanna would hate. On days when she didn't feel being a tourist, Emily would spend time at the many used bookstores and coffee shops in Hanna's neighborhood. Emily also took this time to start journaling again in an attempt to make sense of what her life had become.

Writing enabled Emily to put her life in perspective. Somewhere in her heart she had known that her relationship with Radha was not meant to last—at some point they had become very good friends who occasionally had sex and shared the same bed. She realized that she still loved Radha, but she was no longer in love.

That Thursday afternoon of spring break, Emily decided to call Radha. Since the day Emily moved out, Radha had made many unsuccessful attempts to communicate with Emily—she would call, email, and on one occasion she had talked Brent into pleading with Emily to call her. Radha seemed caught off guard when she received the call from Emily. Radha repeatedly apologized to her for how she handled the situation—she said that she should have talked to Emily before she had made any decisions. She also said that she was miserable without Emily and that she wanted Emily to come to Iowa with her. Emily could hear that Radha was crying and did not doubt her sincerity.

In spite of Radha's apologies and invitation to go to Iowa with her, Emily was resolute in her belief that their relationship had run its course. She told Radha that how everything had happened had hurt her a lot, but the time apart had allowed Emily to take a step back and look at what would be best for both of them. She told Radha that she loved and respected her, and that she did not regret any of their time together, but that she was no longer in love with her. Radha cried a lot and said that Emily didn't mean that, and if she would come back home she would see that their relationship was work saving. Emily agreed to move back in with Radha when she returned, but told Radha not to expect things to be the same as they had been.

When Hanna got home from work that Thursday afternoon, Emily told her about the conversation she had with Radha. Hanna was indignant about Emily agreeing to move back in with Radha. She said that Radha didn't deserve another chance after the way she treated Emily. Emily tried to calm Hanna down by saying that their romantic relationship was over, but she wanted to work on remaining friends. Hanna just shook her head and looked disappointed.

Instead of continuing to berate Emily for her decision, Hanna declared that she was going to take Emily out to show her all of the fun she had been missing by being tied down to Radha for so long. Emily looked at Hanna skeptically, "Don't you have to work tomorrow?" Hanna brushed her off and said, "I'm gonna bunk off work tomorrow. It's not every day my best friend is in town." She went on to justify talking off work by saying that this would be the first time they could 'legally' drink in a bar together.

Emily tried to convince Hanna that she would be happy to go to a low-key dive bar. Hanna didn't want to hear any of that and said that if they were going to go out, they were going to go out in a big way. Hanna rifled through Emily's bags to find something "sexy" for Emily to wear. After Hanna emptied out Emily's bag she looked up and said, "Jesus Emily, did you pack enough plaid shirts and jeans? Where's the sexy Emily I used to know." Emily shrugged and said that she has had relatively few occasions to dress up since being in Berkeley.

Hanna shook her head and said, "This will not work. You are going to wear something of mine." Hanna walked to her closet and began sorting through various combinations of clothes. After holding up several combinations against Emily, Hanna made a decision. She handed Emily a very low-cut cream V-neck blouse and a short black skirt that looked like it would fit someone half Emily's size. Emily looked at the clothes and shook her head. "There's no way these are going to fit me." Hanna stared at her in disbelief, "Whatever Emily. Just go try them on." Emily begrudgingly picked up the clothes and headed to Hanna's small bathroom. She looked at the clothes and then at herself in the mirror. Hanna was mistaken if she thought Emily could fit in these clothes—they could have worked when they were freshman in high school, but Emily's body had taken on many new curves in the past four years. Emily took off her t-shirt and pulled Hanna's cream top over her head. She was surprised to find that the top fit well—the only downside was that her bra was completely and unattractively visible. She slowly took off her jeans and looked at herself in the mirror. She was standing there in her black and green low-cut American Apparel underpants and the cream top with her bra visible. She looked at the skirt and once again felt uneasy about the fact that it would never fit around the curve of her hips. Holding her breath, Emily unzipped the side zipper and slowly stepped into the skirt. The skirt actually had more give than she had anticipated, so it actually fit over her hips. Getting it zipped was going to be a whole other issue. She shouted at Hanna to come help her with the zipper. Hanna came bolting into the bathroom and gasped, "You look hot. If I weren't so straight, I would totally want to do you". Emily laughed, "I would settle for you helping me with this zipper." Hanna took the zipper and ordered Emily to hold her breath. After a little coaxing, Hanna successfully zipped up the skirt. "Seriously Em, you look hot. You are going to be fighting off girls with a stick tonight." Emily looked at herself in the mirror. She had to admit that she looked pretty damn good. The skirt was indeed rather tight, but it hugged her curves in all the right places. Hanna was grinning as Emily checked herself out in the mirror. Emily looked at Hanna. "What about the bra situation?" Hanna grinned, "You'll just not wear one. It will be super hot."

Emily looked at herself again and blushed. "I suppose I shouldn't have doubted your fashion skills Hanna." Hanna looked Emily up and down from head to toe. "The first step is that we need to get you out of this outfit and into the shower. Maybe it's sexy out in Cali, but you really need to shave your legs—you are starting to look like a finalist in the Miss Sasquatch America contest; and I shudder to think about what's going on under your arms. Emily laughed and said that the extra hair helps keep her warm in the winter. Hanna rolled her eyes and handed Emily a razor.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for all of the reviews. I promise this is going to end up a Paige/Emily story-I just really like building up a framework for what has happened to Emily before they reconnect.**

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By the time Emily and Hanna were ready for their night on the town, Hanna had forced Emily to let her do her hair and makeup; Emily couldn't remember the last time she had been so dressed up. They left Hanna's apartment around 8:30 and took a cab to a bar Hanna assured Emily she would love. The club looked rather plain on the outside, but once they got inside Emily saw why Hanna was so insistent they start there.

The club was full of women and a few men. Hanna grinned at Emily, "So, do you like?" Emily smiled at Hanna, "So do you make it a habit of frequenting lesbian bars?" Hanna just grinned and took Emily by her arm; "We are going to have fun tonight. It's an order."

The girls walked arm in arm up to the bar. Hanna ordered them pink fruity looking drinks and four shots of vodka. Hanna picked up the pink drinks and headed to an empty booth at the back of the club. Emily picked up the shots and followed. Once the sat down, Emily looked at Hanna and smirked, "I see some things haven't changed." Hanna rolled her eyes and said, "Whatever. I'm going to make sure my best friend has an amazing night." Hanna picked up a shot and raised it in the air. Doing the same, Emily said, "To good friends and letting go." They tapped their shots together and said, "Cheers". Emily made a face as she felt the familiar burn of vodka in her throat. Hanna picked up the next one and said, "To getting Emily laid." She tapped her shot against Emily's before Emily had time to protest. They slammed the shot glasses down and started to laugh. "Seriously Hanna, I'm not interested in getting 'laid', as you so delicately put it. I'm technically still with Radha." "Whatever Emily! When was the last time you actually got laid?" Emily felt herself turning red. "See, I can tell by your face that it's been a while." Emily regained her composure. "Yes, it's been longer than I care to admit, but I need to wait until things are completely resolved with Radha before I act on any of my urges." They spent the rest of the evening drinking and dancing.

Emily went back to Berkeley that Sunday. She was more than a little anxious because she didn't know what the next seven weeks with Radha would look like. It would be one thing if there were more space in the apartment, but it was a small studio. She took the BART to Berkeley from the airport—Radha had offered to pick Emily up, but she wasn't quite ready for that ride.

When Emily finally made it to her apartment she was surprised to find that Radha wasn't there. She carried her bags in and noticed a note on the small kitchen table. The note was from Radha, welcoming Emily back home. It also said that she had to do some grocery shopping and would be home around seven. Emily looked at her phone and saw that it was about 6:30. Emily took that time to put away her clothes. She also made the decision that it would be better if she slept on the couch. Although their apartment was a studio, the bed was behind a Chinese screen in the far back corner. Although they would technically be sleeping in the same room, the screen gave the illusion of privacy. Emily pulled out the spare linens and her pillow and placed them on the couch.

Radha arrived home a little after seven. She struggled to get in the door because she was attempting to carry so many grocery bags. Emily got up and took some of the bags from Radha. She placed them on the kitchen table and looked back at Radha. Radha had stopped at the door and was looking at Emily. "It's really great to see you Em." Uncomfortably, Emily said, "It's nice to see you too."

Radha walked over and put the groceries on the table. There was an awkward since in the room. Emily broke it by asking how Radha's spring break had been. Radha shrugged and said it had been uneventful. She had decided to stay in Berkeley in order to get some work done on her final projects. Emily nodded and said that she wished she had the discipline to work on her final projects over break.

As they put away the groceries, Emily told Radha about her time with Hanna. She said that she had an amazing time with Hanna and that she loved spending time in New York. Once the groceries were put away, Radha pulled out some hummus and pita. "I figured you might be hungry, so I picked up your favorite hummus from the shop down the street." Emily nodded and said that sounded great.

Making small talk with Radha was easy, but there was clearly some tension between them. As they ate, Emily broke down and said, "Listen, I don't want this to be weird. I know we are heading in two different directions, but I don't want us to leave here not being friends." Emily noticed tears starting to stream down Radha's face. "Emily, I'm so sorry. I know this is my fault and I should have been more up front with you. I don't want to lose you. When you left it caused me to see that I need you in my life. I want to wake up each morning with you next to me—I need you."

Emily took a deep breath before she started to speak. "Radha, I wish this had happened differently—I really do; but I think we need to admit that we are at a crossroads, and that our paths are about to diverge. I love you. I really do, but I don't see myself following you to Iowa. I'm not really sure where I'm heading, but I think I need to spend some time on my own.

Radha was now sobbing. "Emily, I need you in my life. We don't have to go to Iowa; we can figure out a place that would work for both of us." Emily felt herself starting to cry. "Radha, what you're saying means a lot to me, but I think you know that we would eventually resent one another. You were meant to be in the writing program in Iowa; I can't take that dream from you."

Emily took Radha's hand and squeezed it tight. "You have meant so much to me, and I would not change any of our time together. I want to spend the rest of our time together in Berkeley as friends." "I'm not sure if I can just be your friend Emily." Emily nodded, "I know it's going to be difficult, but I'm committed to making this work." Emily got up from the table and headed to her chest of drawers. She picked out a pair of boxer shorts and her old Rosewood High swim team t-shirt. "I know we have a lot more we need to talk about, but I need to start getting ready for bed." Emily walked into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. She turned on the shower and let the water heat up as she undressed.

After she showered and put on her boxers and t-shirt, Emily threw her dirty clothes in the hamper and walked back into the main room. Radha was still sitting at the kitchen table looking stunned. Emily walked over and squeezed Radha's shoulder. "We can do this." Radha nodded silently. "I'm going to sleep on the couch, that way you can have the bed." Radha started to cry some more. "Please sleep in the bed with me. I promise nothing will happen." Emily shook her head. "I think it's better if I sleep on the couch."

The weeks passed, slowly at first, but with increased speed once the end of the semester approached. At first, living with Radha was awkward; Emily had not realized how little privacy one has in a shared studio apartment. She would try to stay on campus as long as possible so as to avoid strained conversations with her former girlfriend. After a while, Emily realized she was being silly and started to spend more time at the apartment.

Radha was very mindful of their changing relationship. She stopped telling Emily that sleeping on the couch was silly when there was a large bed they could share. After a while they could make small talk with one another without it feeling strained.

Before they knew it, the Friday before finals' week was upon them. It had been their tradition that they would spend the first part of that Friday studying, and then around six they would pick up some alcohol and a pizza and proceed to eat and drink before they headed out to the end of semester parties. Emily was conflicted because she had two major projects that were due the following Monday and three finals to study for, but this would be the last end of semester celebration of her undergraduate career. Her situation was further complicated because Radha had always been the one who had the hookup on all the best parties.

As Friday wore on, Emily resigned herself to a night of responsibility—she would order some takeout and finish one of her projects. As Emily was sitting at the table trying to decide what to order, Radha came through the door carrying a pizza and a bag of liquor. Radha looked at Emily and then at all of the books on the kitchen table. "You're not seriously going to spend our last Friday as undergraduates studying, are you?" Emily shrugged, "That's the plan." Radha carried the pizza and the liquor to the kitchen and placed them on the cabinet. "Emily, I know things have changed, but I can't imagine spending my last Friday in Berkeley without you." Emily looked at Radha, "Don't you think it will be weird?" Radha shrugged, "Of course it will be weird; but it will be weirder to go out without you. At the very least, have some pizza with me—it's half feta and pineapple and half pepperoni and tomato. You know that no one other than you will be eating that feta and pineapple nightmare."

Emily smiled, "I guess you're right. I would hate to see a perfectly good pizza go to waste." As Radha got out some paper plates from the cupboard, Emily picked up her study mess from the kitchen table. Radha stacked the paper plates and some napkins on top of the pizza box and brought them to the table. Radha went back to the kitchen and put the beer and juice in the refrigerator and the vodka in the freezer. "Do you want a beer? I picked up some Yuengling and Blue Moon." Emily smiled, "Sure, you know I can't pass up a Yuengling."

As they ate, the two girls started reminiscing about past pre-final weekends. Before they knew it, the pizza was gone and they had each had three beers. Emily looked up at the clock on the microwave. "Oh crap, it's after nine. Shouldn't you be getting ready to go out?" Radha shrugged, "No, it's all good. I didn't give Brent a definitive time. I just said I would text him later to figure out where he is. Anyway, I'm having a really good time just shooting the shit with you. I know things have been weird for a while, but I have really missed just spending time with you." Emily nods, "I totally agree. I always loved that we could quickly go from having an intense conversation about Sartre's misogyny to quoting lines from 'Mean Girls'."

Emily got up from the table. "Do you want another drink?" Radha nodded, "Of course I do." Emily grabbed a couple of beers and then stopped. She doubled back and put the beers on the counter. Emily opened up the cabinet and pulled out two shot glasses. She then opened the freezer and pulled out the vodka. Emily then grabbed the beers in one hand and the vodka and empty shot glasses in the other. She walked over to the couch and put the drinks down on the coffee table. Radha watched Emily closely. Emily looked over at Radha, "Do you mind a little music?" Radha smiled, "Of course not." Radha walked over to the couch as Emily connected her iPod to the dock. She put the music on shuffle and walked over to the couch.

Emily flopped down at the end opposite Radha and began pouring two shots. Emily handed Radha her shot and held hers up in the air. "To our last Friday as undergraduates…may we find happiness in our future endeavors." They clinked the shot glasses together and quickly swallowed the vodka. They continued to drink and reminisce. After several more drinks, the space between the two girls began to close. The alcohol wore down the boundaries the girls had established over the past few months. At some point in the evening, Emily found herself resting her head on Radha's shoulder while Radha stroked her hair. Emily shifted a little and started kissing Radha's cheek. Without thinking, Emily shifted and straddled Radha. Breathing hard, Radha asked, "Are you sure?" Emily responded by crashing her lips against Radha's. Hearing a moan escape Radha's mouth caused her to deepen the kiss. Feeling Radha's tongue against hers caused Emily to shudder.

Emily felt Radha's hands reach beneath her shirt. Radha stroked Emily's sides as she started to kiss Emily's neck. Emily sat up a little and pulled her shirt over her head. Radha took her hands and ran them down the length of Emily's mostly bare torso. While Radha continued to touch her, Emily reached behind her back and unfastened her bra. Radha slipped Emily's bra off her shoulders and began kissing Emily's clavicle. She kissed her way down to Emily right breast. She ran her tongue lightly over Emily's hard nipple. Emily let out a loud moan as Radha began to suck and nip at her nipple. She looked up at Emily and then began to focus her attention on Emily's left nipple. Emily could feel the wetness beginning to pool up between her legs. She pulled back and slipped off of Radha's lap. Emily extended her hand and guided Radha to the bed.


End file.
